My life has been hectic with more work hours and therefore I am in want of writing and singing time. (And I'm behind on housework, but oh well.) I often would just stay up late to accommodate these things as, really, who needs sleep? But lately I have usually been getting adequate sleep. Having a cuddly toddler that I know is growing fast may be a contributing factor. I'll have a workout planned or some housework, but she falls asleep on me and I just don't want to let go. Oh, I cherish having her close.
While contemplating writing during lunch today, I remembered my old poetry, and thought I would take a look. I found a poem on Love that I wrote sixteen years ago. Sixteen years ago would have been when I struggled to feel. When I felt invisible. When I was full of fear and nerves. When I was terribly insecure and lacked the trust to let anyone in. When I honestly wondered if I could ever be close to anyone.
They say you write out of what you hope for in life. That's why our culture is full of love songs. I hoped for the ability to genuinely care for another and believe the sentiment was reciprocal. I know many out there question if it will ever be, and I pray they experience a turn-around comparable to the one met by my heart. Involvement. Tenderness. Devotion. Unconditional love.
Now I have more than was even conjecturable in my hopes back then.
Pocket of Love
1998
Every night when I climb into bed
And I am warm and content and comfy
I pray quietly to the Lord above
That He helps me spread the Love that is in me
I pray that He gives me the strength
To ignore those who try to give me pain
And to retaliate with a kind word
To those insisting on doing it again
I pray that a smile will remember to occur
During every single occasion appropriate
And a laugh will brightly escape my lungs
Whenever there is any room for it
I pray that when the sky is gray
And when my heart is suffering in sorrow
That Love will come and heal my wounds
And help me make it to tomorrow
I pray that I will succeed greatly
In giving Love to those I hold dear
And when all seems to be a fight
This Love will never disappear
I pray that I will never cease
To be open minded, to forgive and forget
And all of those who cross my path
Will desire to keep the Love they just met
And when the day has come to an end
And I thank the Lord above
My wealth will still have more to give
From my bottomless pocket of Love