Before I conceived I was slightly misconceived. I say slightly because I realized quite well that I had no idea. I was aware that things wouldn't be as expected. I never judged anyone as a bad parent because I knew I didn't know the whole story. Nevertheless, I confidently had ideas about how to avoid many common situations that I saw mothers face. Temper tantrums. Hitting. Screeching. Throwing. I've read all about it.
One shortsighted notion that was busted early in the parenting game was that of obedience. I figured with love and consistency my child would be confident and secure enough to obey. Then it hit me that the appearance of obedience would be required way before it would even be cognitively possible. A child can't obey a command until they understand what they are being told. She understands hot quite well after touching a light bulb. She'll jump back or drop at that word with no objection.
Something has to click in their immature developing brain. Stop means nothing until repeated many times. Quite, frankly, it may even be misunderstood, as they run away laughing. Don't yell might as well be blah, blah, blah. Add in a toddlers frustration with not being able to communicate and issues will most definitely rise. So in comes the evacuate-the-screaming-child technique. No matter how good the parent.
Realizing her lack of attention and her curiosity have no virulent motives, I have pretty much been able to keep my patience. When she gave a sustained protest at church because I removed the choking hazard from her mouth, I knew I did nothing wrong and I understood her frustration because I took something away. I know I frustrate her continuously. But her communicating about her situation improves in leaps and bounds. Especially her use of no. That has remarkably multiplied since training a new dog. She loves to say "don't touch" now as well.
Recently, we have started another area that I thought I could avoid with planning and attention and diligence. Whining. It is not a very pleasant sound. Especially when I can't figure out what the issue is that is causing the annoying request.
I had my arsenal ready. Use your words. Really? She doesn't have them yet! Ask nicely. Hmmm, it appears with repeated attempts that she has no idea she is whining. What would you like, Sweetie? I find myself saying that so much. But it never gets me an answer. Either she is failing at trying to tell me, or she has no idea. Like bed time. She protests as she pulls and kicks at her blanket. Take it off? Nope. Pull it up? Nope. I have no idea.
So here I am. Just trying to be patient and loving. Attempting to take every opportunity to teach. And accepting every opportunity to learn. I might mess up. We could have a situation occur that doesn't look great. (Like tomorrow. We'll be at an event for at least five hours, on a hot day, on not quite enough sleep.) But I'm plugging through. Enjoying her developments. Adoring her cuteness. And loving her personality.
One day I'll miss her whining and all the attention she wants to give me. I'll miss the call of Mommeeeee. That is, if it doesn't get worse. I hear it can get much worse...