Tick Tock

Time is so stinking limited. Every day, every moment, is a choice of how to spend that allotment that will flit away and then be gone. Forever. Oh my, I think I could receive a medal for wasted occasions. Unfortunately, I could also receive a medal for frustration felt when time I don't want to waste gets unavoidably frittered away. Not that you would ever receive a medal for that. But I am very proficient at wasting time when I choose (too many options for boredom!) and getting angry at squandering time when it wasn't my choice.

Actually--combine those two. I think I frequently misuse time because of frustration over some other wasted time. I hate having to take an extra moment because someone else didn't do their part. Then it leads to me losing my own focus. My viscous circle. Sounds absurd. I know. But I am working on it. (My sincere apologies to those who deal with this progression. This slow progression.)

I have heard it said a few times that you can tell a lot about a person in how they handle tangled Christmas lights. Hmmm. This doesn't make me feel good. Please don't come over when I decorate. I hate tangled Christmas lights. But what does this mean? I lack character? I am unreliable? My frustration grows with tangents about storing them improperly and if the time was taken to put them away nicely this wouldn't happen in the first place!! Ahem. I'm okay.

But in reality, there are some aggravations that occur even when we are being diligent. Like this afternoon. I attempted three times to load pictures onto Facebook. Each failed attempt was another tick-tick on the clock that could have been used to do something else in my long list of post-company chores. While my daughter naps my time is so much more productive. Unless there are these unavoidable glitches. Who can I blame for this crushed block of time?

I have always hated wasted time. Looking for lost items. Misunderstandings that lead to failed meet-ups. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I think it falls into my fear of failure. Failure to get to my big list of things I could do instead. Failure to please... someone? Who am I trying to please?

That's a question I need to ask myself a lot lately. If I am trying to please everyone then I am guaranteed to be burning daylight because that just isn't possible. Someone will have a different opinion about what should have been the priority. My husband sure wouldn't agree that me writing would be a priority. Or looking up recipes. Or organizing and sending photos. Likewise, I sure don't agree with some of his time choices.

I wish I was better with the clock. I had a list of things I wanted to do with my family this weekend that didn't happen. We were going to try glow stick juice in our bubbles. We were going to play board games. But the biggest thing about time is that you can't change it once it is passed. So I must be grateful for what I did get. When I don't focus on the things I missed, the things I received or achieved sure look better.

I have that album half posted on Facebook. But now for some reason it shuffled the order. And it isn't cooperating in the organizing process at all. I could start grumbling that the staff should try to use the program themselves and see if it even works. Or I could appreciate technology. I have this wonderful opportunity to easily share with family (eventually if it works as I try again tonight...). And a failed networking attempt resulted in time to blog. Good, I guess. Opportunities not available years ago. Something I paid no money to do. Only my time.

I should be grateful for what I could accomplish. My daughter will be up any minute...