I have dinner half prepared, with a pile of items scattered on the counter ready to chop. But my darling girl is struggling with sleeping in the heat and so work waits. My princess is currently fast asleep In my arms. The most gorgeous teddy bear I've ever seen. Clutching her prized dalmatian. She did sleep about 50 minutes in her bed and I considered leaving it at that. But daddy wants to do something this evening (maybe) and so I'd like her to be rested. She obviously was not finished her beauty sleep. She is fairly adaptable but her fuse is shorter on lack of shut-eye. She must get that from me.
With a toddler at 20 months old I probably shouldn't be having the matter of her needing me to go to sleep anymore. She should be independent. But because she is my one and only miracle baby she has enjoyed an abundance of cuddles. Her resulting default on a down day--one with heat or a cold or teething--is to want to be close. She even asks me, "Mommy, snuggle!"
I used to feel guilty lazing around with her when there were things to do. But I really struggled with productivity. I would have intentions but succumb to distraction after distraction. I would be overwhelmed by my to-do list but then do something else instead (hmmm, just what infuriates me about my husband). Sometimes I wish I could get into the heads of others and see their average day. Am I normal? Or do others fight this toss between one thing and the next, and another thing. Boredom? What's that? Then I will see the first task is still there, partially done, waiting. Cleaning up for me is actually making a mess.
It's way less stress to just cuddle.
I am improving though. I have substantially progressed in my productivity. I cook and clean more than I ever have. Which, like I said, still may be nothing compared to the average. I don't know. And after all my work is done I wonder how much time I would have to invest in cleaning for this place to actually look clean. I'll wash the floors a few times, or more, in a week and then my daughter will run around for an hour and her feet will be black. Good thing she loves baths.
I so enjoy the closeness that she gives me now. It isn't a waste of time. She's my world. One day I will miss it.
So you can come over but be aware that even though the floor looks dirty, it has been washed. In between our crawling under bridges and tents. Watch your step. It has been tidied, but my home is overrun with toys. The dust may accumulate, but my daughter won't remember. The laundry may pile up... She will remember that. It's obvious. But after we snuggle in for a bit and ignore the pile one last time she loves to help put it away. She'll add some clean items to the dirty basket to keep me on my toes.
Since she is asleep on me while I type instead of making my salad, she is going to have to help me prep veggies after nap. With her assisting I've discovered that even though vegetables are not her favourite she really likes green onions. I have to chop extra. Today she will get to try purple cabbage. And she will munch on celery and hopefully swallow some instead of chewing it and spitting it all out on the floor like she is staring in a western movie.
And when the salad is done we will eat it with our crock pot meat loaf. Before we go off on whatever evening adventure we decide to have. And once we have burned all of our energy it will be time to bathe and cuddle up with a book. Snuggles.
Oh, the life of a toddler.